ClumsyDAMN!
by Vanezah Larraine
Summary: To him, I'm invisible like hollow man.  I come and go then forgotten.  He never looks at me twice.  Boom! Splash! Bang!  I'm the clumsiest person you'll ever meet.  And I want something that I can't have. Damn it!
1. Damn

**Clumsy (Damn!)**

**Summary:**To him, I'm invisible like hollow man. I come and go then forgotten. He never looks at me twice. Boom! Splash! Bang! I'm the clumsiest person you'll ever meet. And I want something that I can't have. Damn it!

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight. ;)**

**Prologue: Damn!**

I wanted something but I can't have it. Damn it! Actually, it's more of I like someone but I can't have him! Yup this is one of them love stories where I can't get the guy I want. Totally usual, I know. So, damn him for not wanting me!

Yeah. Yeah. I don't really mean that. Sometimes my situation is just so frustrating that I get crazy. I wouldn't want to force him to feel what I feel. After all, love happens right? I know its crazy to say that but that's how I feel. And I know that I am not mistaken. I am not turning this into some hopeless romantic tale. I know I'm not making my situation worse for thinking that its love when it's not because I believe only I know how I feel. Only I know that this _is_ Love. Would I feel this heart breaking longing when he's not around if it's not? Would I even though he doesn't even know me? If I'm wrong, tell me what this is then? Because this definitely drives me insane.

I accepted the fact that he won't like me long before I realized I already love him. It helps because now I've come to terms of reality. Nobody knows how pathetic I am and I live life the way I'm supposed to. I have fun at school with my friends and laugh and have school as my priority. Yet at the end of everyday, I just can't help wishing.

But no, I'm sure he'd rather have somebody who's not pathetic.

You know what's the most damn thing about it, though? I didn't really like him like that before. I wanted twenty five. He was my seatmate in History and he asked me the answer for number 25 on the test and I never really figured out but he just got my attention. He was a heartthrob so it's not a total shock. Ever since then, me and my best friend Kate called him twenty five. The others don't know about him. He's out of my league and I figured it's just a fantasy – crush. He doesn't really talk to me anyway. Unless, he needs answers. I don't care. Or more like I didn't care. Who is he? His name is Paul Walker. And he has a best friend. They're both tall and built and loved by many. Partners in crime, always together – like brothers. To me though, one is above the other.

Paul's confidant is none other than Jared Thail. Jared Thail whom I unconditionally love. Most excruciating fact of all, Jared Thail doesn't know me.

To him, I'm invisible like hollow man. I come and go then forgotten. He never looks at me twice. I don't think he ever spends time trying to remember who I am when he sees me. Worse, he may not see me at all. Like I said, invisible.

But now, he knows me and he say he loves me. But guess what? He says he's a werewolf too. "The already complicated story was made even more complicated with my family, then ex-girlfriends that I like to call bitches.

To Summarize, I liked Paul before but I love his best friend now – Jared.

Jared Thail. The one guy that seems to think I'm a part of nature camouflaged somewhere in between the trees.

How does that end? When I say it like that…

I think I just declared some serious heartbreak! DAMN!

I really don't think I'm as good as anybody out there. Actually, I think I just suck but I still love doing this so I post but I really would like to know what others think. So, please, review. Even just a smiley face or sad face would do. A check or a cross. just so I know what you think. Thanks! :)


	2. Shit

**Clumsy (Damn!)**

**Summary:** Everybody knows the Jared and Kim story. What if things did not go down the way SM puts it? What if Jared was a little too late?

**Chapter 1: Shit!**

Boom! Splash! Bang! I was walking along side of the swimming pool when I collided with a chair making me lose my balance. I splashed on the swimming pool lying flat on my back. And I tell you, it hurts! OUCH.

"Gosh! How can someone so tiny handle so much bad luck in them?" My best friend Kate asked as she helped me up the flat surface offering her hand. I was a little dizzy.

"It's a talent." I retorted smiling up on her while I hold her hand for support but like as usual she also splashed on the water. Kate, Kamille and I have been best friends since kindergarten. People call us the triple K's because of our name. Kate the smart one, Kamille the drama mama and Kim clumsy are always together. No matter what, we're always by each other's side. Even though we always end up on a mess, I mean, with me around, it is just bound to happen.

"No, it's not missy. It's called Kim!" Kamille shouted breaking our laughter then she jumped on the pool as well.

"Yeah, I totally agree. Though I think I might have to change my first statement. It's not bad luck. It's inept." Kate said when Kamille finally popped her head out from under the water.

"Inept? C'mon! I'm not the English teacher. I bet even Mrs. Miralles won't know that!" Mrs. Christine Miralles is our English teacher. The best might I add. She just seem to understand us. She doesn't do pop quizzes and she helps you with whatever – even love life. Like I said the best.

"That means clumsy." Kate said, smiling an impish smile at me realizing she spoke way too deep for our small brains.

"You could have said so." Kamille said, chuckling slightly then gasping ang blurted out without a care, "Like so true. We saw you from the doorway. You were like just walking and then splash! Everything sort of happened too fast for me. But little miss genius here thought that she should help the clumsy friend. But of course," she ranted exaggerating things.

We all laughed and just enjoyed the water while we were there until Mr. Bolton; the house manager a.k.a butler (He wanted to be called that.) scolded us for playing during work time. It is summer and we all decided to find jobs. We include the triple J's- Jam, Joy and Jerica . And together we sound like a bunch of KJ's. I know it sucks but we all are happy the way we are. Though we all have different personality, we get along so well. The triple K's met the Triple J's back in 6th grade and even if we have different characters, we just got along like peanut butter and jelly.

I might be the clumsy one but I'm good at anything. And I am great in PE which is Kate's weakest link. Yes, little miss genius is not genius in Gym class. She does everything wrong whichever sports. Sometimes I wonder if 'm really the clumsy one because of balls hitting her everywhere but then I'd slip while trying to hit a ball then bump my head in the process before a ball lands flat on my face. Yup, I'm the clumsy one. Luckily I still get points and usually I make my team wins though I'd hurt myself in the process.

So we found jobs at a private family. They own this big mansion at Forks, like 4 floors and 7 rooms, which I did not know was possible in a city this small. They have tons of visitors everyday and they needed people to clean the table and pool. The triple J's landed a job at a diner near here so we meet there after work. Which is at eight in the evening.

"Guys, it's almost six. We need to go and finish preparing the tables. Their visitors will arrive sooner or later." Kate reminded us while she sat on the edge of the pool. She really is the responsible one. You have to be when you're the eldest child and all your parents work. Plus, she has to maintain her grades.

We climbed up the pool, finished preparing the table before we had a shower then changed into our serving uniforms. Our job is practically to prepare the receiving area and serve for the visitors 'till 8 when older girls take over our jobs for late night parties so we have to wear uniforms. I think we're doing a welcome party tonight. We don't know who was it we were welcoming and we don't care. Hell, I don't even know who my boss is. We follow orders from Mr. Bolton.

The party was in full blow. There were teenagers everywhere. The butler literally run away after giving us specific instruction so call him when the night girls – what I call them- come to do their job. They were late. Ten minutes late. And I was so anxious to eat at the diner, having just been tempted with the food I serve, that I run to get the butler the moment I saw the first girl's big blonde hair.

Being the Kim that I am, of course, I tripped on my foot. Sending the bottles of beer in my hands, flying. _Shit!_ The pain in my butt registered as soon as I hit the floor but I can't care yet. The bottles cost more than my salary and they were asked by the owner of the house. A tall model-like eighteen year old freshman college and was off here to visit for the summer.

Water splashed on my face and I saw one bottle crashed on the swimming pool. Phew! Less payment for me. The other crashed on somebody's head. He didn't even seem hurt. I bet he didn't notice until the owner – I assume they were talking- gasped and he realized the beer falling down on his face. He looked _for_ me then. Shit! I am in _so much_ trouble.

"I am so sorry." I screamed from my place on the floor. He looked _at_ me then.

I suddenly stood up on my feet!

It was Jared Thail. The guy I love since 8th grade. The guy who never, ever notices me. Now, I'm in _major_ trouble. He picked now to pay me attention when I did something bad? C'mon! Not only will he not notice me again but he'd hate me.

"Really. Please forgive me. I didn't mean to. I swear. Sorry." He started walking with heavy steps towards me. I was begging.

"I was just walking. Sorry." I kept saying sorry every step he made. I was so scared now. He was big. Humongous! (I think I'm learning from Kate.) And he had this concerned look on his face. I don't know why he looks that way but I was just scared he might eat me alive. I'm not sure which is scarier, the fact that Jared might never talk to me again or he might beat me up in front everybody. Whichever it was, it ends the same. Jared would hate me and my dreams are forever shattered. And that is to marry Jared.

"Please forgive me. Please." I looked down on my feet when he got close and then abruptly stopped.

"Are you okay?" Of course I am. This was normal. And embarrassing.

But I didn't understand what he meant by it so I looked up and asked,

"What?"

He didn't say anything. He just kept staring at me with eyes of disbelief. Probably thinking how somebody like me could have hurt him.

Then he smiled. And his eyes changed. It's overcome with pure… adoration?

I was shocked by the sudden change in it. At the same time, curious as to what could have changed them. I kept silent too. Wondering. Was it me? Will he finally notice me now? Was I the reason why his eyes are full of joy and happiness? He was staring at me, wasn't he? It has to be me, right? Shit. Please let it be me.

And then he repeated, "Are you okay?" Talking slowly, putting emphasis on every word. I broke out of my train of thoughts and looked at him incredulously. Am I okay? Shouldn't I be asking the same thing? I guess its okay though. He's not angry. That I'm sure of.

Everybody turned around now. No fight, no audience. Thank You.

"What do you mean 'Am I okay?' I'm the one who hit you with a beer bottle, remember? Are _you _okay?" I screamed over the music that turned on again.

No fight, no need for the eerie silences either.

"I'm okay. Didn't even feel it." It looks like it but was that right? Others should have collapsed by now.

"I'm just wet." He added after a while then asked again, "So, are you okay?"

"I guess so." Finally, I answered.

He smiled brilliantly now. Like everything was perfect. And he stared at me, like _I_ was perfect then with his teeth showing, said,

"My name's Jared. Jared Thail."

"I know." I've known for a long time, BIG GUY.

**Author's Pleading Note:**

**I know I suck, BIG TIME. But I really wanna know what others think. It's actually based on a friend of mine so you'd be doing both of us a favor. ;) Thanks.**

**Oh and Hi to my most special friend, pugo. :)**


	3. I want

Clumsy (Damn!)

Summary: To him, I'm invisible like hollow man. I come and go then forgotten. He never looks at me twice. Boom! Splash! Bang! I'm the clumsiest person you'll ever meet. And I want something that I can't have. Damn it!

"You know?" Oh yeah. I know. But that Mr. Jared Thail, needs to be covered up with an excuse so I don't seem like a stalker.

"Yeah. I, uh, was on your English class last year." There, that's not even a lie. I was his partner for crying out loud. Don't expect him to remember though. That was a crazy situation.

_"Jared Thail and Kim Connwoller, you both work on Shakespeare's Biography. So, that means you will__report first next week so that we'll have a background on him before we all start studying his amazing literature. Okay?" That would be Mrs. Norris. She was our substitute teacher for that semester before we got Ms. Miralles. I don't know why her name sounds like a cat but at that point__,__ I don't really care._

_I am going to work on a project with Jared. All I did was nod my head to let my cat-named teacher know I was okay with everything. I'm more than okay, really. Talk about luck. A project with your crush, what's not okay with that? _

_Jared told me we should meet after class to research on the library for the following days. So, Tuesday after class, I walked up to him._

"_Hey, Jared." I greeted him with a sheepish smile. No need for him to know how happy I am. It's not so hard to do. He makes me nervous anyway._

"_Uhm, Hey." He replied looking lost-brows knit together and seems to be thinking real hard. Then, he added, "Do I know you?"_

"_I'm Kim." I stated as a matter of fact. Thinking he might remember now. But no, I'm just so much of a nobody to remember._

"_Hi Kim. What can I do for you?" Work on a project with me Jared. That's what._

"_I'm Kim." I repeated._

"_Yeah. I heard you." I know you did. Doesn't he really remember me? Apparently not._

"_I'm Kim." I sound like a broken record. So, I added, "I'm your English partner."_

"_Really?" Yeah, really._

_I didn't wanna be a bitch so I just nodded and tried not to roll my eyes. I hate the fact that he doesn't even remember me. I thought it was the start of something new, Like Troy and Gabriella. I figured we should probably sing on New Year's Eve for that to happen. _

_You know in stories when you work on projects and your crush notices you and falls in love with you, next thing you know you're too sweet for everybody else? That is a very, very good luck. But I am Kim. No such thing as good luck for me. For the entire duration of that project, I meet with Jared and read about Shakespeare. Sure, he remembered me the next day but after the project? He doesn't even look my way. By then, I thought he was a jerk. I mean I'm not that beautiful and you would not be proud that you worked with me even for an A – which we got, thanks to my awesome best friend Kate who edited everything – but he could at least smile and treat me with respect. It's not that hard is it? Then, the next day he bumped on me, said sorry and smiled. All the thought about him being a jerk went out the window. How pathetic can I be? At least he said sorry. Right?_

"Kim. Kim." Jared pulled me out of my flashback.

"Oh hey you remember me." Oops. That wasn't the right response, was it?

"Of course, I do. You're acting kind of silly. Are you okay?" He asked raising his hand and putting it on my forehead.

"I'm okay." If you remember me, I'm more than okay. I wonder if he still remembers me tomorrow. His memory including me usually lasts a day. No way to know though. He probably won't be here tomorrow because I think we're doing a formal party tomorrow. You know, for the oldies.

"Kim!" Kate. That voice is Kate. And I think she's worried. I ran over to her and let her know I was fine. She told me to change to my clothes so we can leave. While I was changing, I can't help thinking about what happened. I always think about Jared. I wish he'd remember me now. 'The girl who shot me with a beer bottle in the head.' That sounded better than 'Who's that girl?', right? Right. It's still Jared.

Jared!

I forgot about him. How is that possible? I don't know but I better say sorry. That was so rude of me. Humiliating too. I went out of the changing room and searched for Jared through the crowd of teenagers. Good thing they all don't go to my school or this job would be embarrassing. Well, except Jared. Then again, I don't have any thing to lose. I already embarrassed myself.

I saw Jared talking to the owner, again. I wonder if they're in a relationship. They seem to talk a lot. I wouldn't blame Jared if he picked her over me. She has this to-die-for curves, blue eyes and blonde hair. I know for sure she's not a Quileute. How I wish I'd be like her. I love being a native, don't take that the wrong way. I just want the curves and the face and the money. If you look at it, I just a want _perfect_ life. I thought nothing is perfect. But her life is. And Jared's is. See, they're even _perfect_ for each other.

I continued my way up to Jared, all the while thinking if he'd still remember me. If he does, I'd say he's memory lasts a day. Definitely a day. He looked up even before I got there. The moment I was near enough of for eye contact, he looked at me at the eye. It was like he knows I was there. He didn't even searched the crowd. He just _saw_ me. And he never looked away.

The owner noticed his gaze and looked up at me too. But Jared kept staring at me. Just like that time when he asked me if I was okay. And I stared back. But not like I did back then. I stared at him with all the longing in the world. Longing to have a life where I was cool enough for him – a life where it was possible he'd love me just the way I do for him.

The owner was about to leave, probably noticing the different atmosphere created by our gazes, but then I noticed her too. And I realized that the life I long for would probably be impossible.

So I spoke, "Ma'm, I am sorry to interrupt your conversation. I just wanted to apologize to your friend here, Mr. Jared Thail," I went over to look at him and made my intent clear, "for my rude behavior and the accident that happened before we leave."

Instead of my boss replying to my very professional, well-arranged speech, Jared did. And he said, "Jared. Just Jared. And it's okay. I already told you. It didn't even hurt."

"If Jared says its okay, then that's it. And please, call me Lissa. We're in the 20th century, for crying out loud." Lissa, the owner then said to me. "When you say it like that, I feel like I came out from the pages of a Jane Austen book." She added.

She likes classic then. Could she get any more perfect? She's probably an A student too.

"Lissa, then." What was I suppose to say? 'I'm jealous of you, can we change lives?' So instead I continued with an exit saying, "Well, I'm off. My friends are waiting for me. They'd eat me for dinner if I don't get back sooner."

On cue, "There you are! Let's go!" Kamille shouted, waving her hand for me to come so I quickly said goodbye and mumbled a "See you around, Lissa." With a sad and slightly frustrated face and tone, knowing he'd probably forget me the moment his face hit the bed I continued and murmured, "You too. Jared."

With that, I turned my back and ran to my friends. With an empty stomach yet no appetite at all. That's how you feel when you know you can never have the one thing you want so badly.

*.*

**AN: HI! *blushes* I don't know what else to say except please review. :) Oh, and Happy New Year! Ya'y! I still think I suck though. Oh well, that's why you HAVE to tell me what's wrong. :) Review! **

**- VanessaL **


	4. I wish

Clumsy (Damn!)

Disclaimer: Me don't own anything. Me just love Twilight. Me love playing around with my bestfriend's love story…

**Chapter 3: I wish**

"Hey. Kim. Earth to Kim?"

"Huh?" I said. Then I turned my head and looked for the owner of the voice. It was Kate.

"You okay?" She said.

We were walking on the dark streets of Forks towards the diner where Joy and her 'crew' expect us. And there I was, staring straight but not seeing. Like going through with everything and not knowing exactly where I was going. Lost in my head filled with unwanted thoughts. If not for my friends, I bet my head is not the only place I'd be lost in.

"Yep." Single syllables means 'I don't wanna talk'.

"Okay" Translation, Later.

I wasn't in the mood to talk. I'm not sure if I would be later, but if she really is my best friend I guess she could wait when the momentum strikes, right? I know I don't really have this right or freaking whatever to be this sulky in this situation. I didn't lose anything, everything was the same. I like Jared, he doesn't like me. Nothing new or different there. But I can't help going through the events in my head. It all happened so fast it didn't exactly register in my mind.

When I was there at the party, I kept thinking about how Jared would think of me after what happened that I didn't register the strange way he was looking at me. Somehow, that look says something about what he thinks of me now. He didn't look hurt when the bottle hit him. He sure didn't even look lik he noticed. And then, when he came over and ask who threw the bottle at him he looked genuinely concern. And then when he smiled, it lit up his face. His eyes changed too. It held so much emotion it's hard to explain.

That's what I've been thinking for so long now. His eyes, it looked like he was seeing me and only me-like I'm the only girl in the world. And even if I'm not, which is true, he'd still see me-find me, feel me, know me-wherever the hell I may be. It was unbelievable but it was the only thing I could come up with. Somehow it makes me happy and if not for the confusion and doubt in my mind, I would be ecstatic.

"Ow!" I and focused my eyes on my friends.

Kamille was sitting by the road a pout fixed on her face. Kate kneeled down in front of her and asked her what's wrong. And of course, being the total best actress and total diva of us all, Kams replied,

"I hate this shoes. I so don't know why we have to wear these kind of ugly black shoes just because we're serving rich people. That is like totally not cool. I mean seriously what did they think of our feet? Rocks? Oh no! Maybe my feet will turn to rocks! I'd go paralyzed first, then, then …Oh God! My feet might decay! And, And…" She babbled and continued on with her dramatic (over-reacting?) speech but Kate stopped her mid… mid-well-paragraph.

"Kams. No feet turn into rocks. Human feet, though of course this is scientifically and not religiously but you know I don't think whichever views says that feet turns into rock. Anyways, scientifically, feet and rock are …" Before can start on her genius/nerd script, I went ahead and stopped her.

"Look. No feet turn to rock. Period." I started.

"I see the diner from here. Like two blocks away. I can go borrow you some flip flops from Joy. You guys can stay here. If you're feet doesn't hurt too much, wait, that is your problem right?" She didn't even explain why she was being dramatic. Celebrities.

"Well, we could continue and have dinner. Which one ladies?" And I finished my own speech. Thank you very much.

"Uhm, not to be a pain but can I have the slippers option?" That's Kams-making her life easy and yours… well, harder than it's supposed to be.

"Sure," That's me. "Wait here." Overly-not-caring.

I started walking across the street as I started thinking about Jared again. The weird feeling of knowing where he was. And by the way he acted it seems he has the same feeling. I wonder if finally, he'll notice me and never look aw-

_SCREEEEEEEEECH!_

The sound of a car trying to stop pulled me out of my wishful thinking but when I turned, bright lights blinded me. I crossed my arms in front of my face shielding my eyes from the lights of the car. I tried to move. But guess what?

Yep. Tripped over my own foot. The clumsiest person in the world dies in the hands – or wheels – of a black shiny truck which according to my very untrustworthy eyesight has an incredibly hot driver.

_Way to be thinking about Jared replacements at this time._

I fell, of course, on my butt and it hurt – but not so much any more, of course (years of practice?). But my head hurts too. So, I tried to feel the part where it hurts most. I guess I hit that part too. And then my eyesight got fuzzy but I feel the car come to an abrupt halt. Everything happened so fast and the next thing I knew Mr. Incredibly Hot Driver came barreling out of his car leaned over me and opens his mouth. I didn't hear a single thing. I closed my eyes to try and push away the creeping numbness.

Am I dead?

When I opened my eyes again, it was still fuzzy. Everything seems to go on circles except that incredibly hot driver that looks so much like Jared. I didn't know if it was because I was thinking of him just now or maybe because I wanted him so bad or maybe, just a maybe my crush is too much to be an infatuation. But when I closed my eyes, I saw Jared's face with those big brown eyes that held so much emotion in them and that face-splitting grin until blackness took over my mind. I don't remember anything after that.

.

"Oh fuck. She might be dead. Do you think she is? Oh my gosh. I just murdered my im-" Who was that? I know that voice.

"Stop freaking out. Your worst than _Drama Mama_ over there. Is she okay, Kate?" Now, I know that voice too.

"How should I know? I'm not a doctor you know." Kate. I know that anywhere.

"Oh my God! You don't have an answer! She might be dead! Oh no!" Drama mama over there. Kams all the way!

"Look Britney. She's fine. Okay? Right, Einstein?" That's _somebody…_

"Britney's a bitch!" Kams yelled at the same time Kate said,

"Einstein's a guy!"

"Whatever. Is she okay or what?" _Somebody_ said.

"I'm okay! Shout some more I might not be!" I half said half groaned. My voice sounded harsh and dry but I so wanted to know who's _somebody_ and the one with him – the first one I heard. _That_ voice was a little more familiar. More so, it makes me feel _safer?_

I opened my eyes and saw two pairs of eyes staring back at me. They both looked worried. One more concerned than the other and another more on the verge of panicking.

"Stop staring at me." I commanded without joke or hesitation. Full-on authority.

"Sorry." They, meaning Kate and Kams said at the same time. They smiled sheepishly and exhaled a breath of relief.

My head was lying on Kate's lap and my legs were dangling from Kams' knees so my torso was in an awkward and very uncomfortable bend. I stood up slowly, rubbing my eyes to make sure I am awake now and remove the little bit of blur factor in my eyes.

Then, I realized why I was such in an enclosed space that they had to lay me down that way. I was in a car. _A_ _Moving car_.

"Kim, are you okay?" I turned my head towards the voice which was also by the driver's seat.

_It was Jared._

Why does he have to see me in these shitty situations? _Couldn't you have come at the start of the ball and not during Cinderella's trip over a glass slipper?_ I thought.

Might make the fairy's job easier.

Oh who am I kidding? This is hopeless.

"I don't think she's okay." Jared said. His voice was kinda shaking and it was obvious he was scared for my being. If he was the one who almost killed me, which I think is what happened, he should be. If not, I don't know where the intense concern was coming from. "She's just staring."

Kate giggled. Freaking giggled. 

She is so gonna get it.

Now, I said, "Fine. I'm fine." To...well, everybody in the car. I wonder whose this is.

All of them seem to breathe another sigh of relief and then it was silent. No more panicking, no more talking.

Then, the car stopped. Looking around, I recognized my house.

_Why are we here?  
_  
"Aren't we going to the diner?"

"Took care of that. You have to rest, Kim." Kate said. I took that as an explanation and thought that we'd have enough events for the night so questions would be answered next time. She and Kams started going out on either side of the door so I went out too. Jared did as well.

Kams, wearing her flip flops, asked me if it's okay that she takes a rest now. And I said yes. She went upstairs full dramatics coming out of her mouth. Something about too many stairs before my room and too good of a feet to be a rock.

Jared walked me and Kate at the front of the door when Kate a got a call. She thanked Jared and Paul - he was _somebody_- before excusing herself.

I looked up and I was lost. Jared had on his big brown eyes on maximum power. We stared at each other for so long it seems that Paul eventually blew the car horn. 

Jared sighed.

"Thanks." I said awkwardly even though I don't know exactly what happened.

"No problem." He shifted awkwardly too, but sighed again when Paul blew the horn yet again. He is very impatient. Wonder why Joy liked him. Well, I did too.

"Bye." He said, and then ran up the driver's side of the car.

I was waiting for them to pull away but they didn't. Not until I realized they were waiting for me to get in. So I did and I watched the car pull away from the front of my house through the window.

When the car was nowhere in sight, I went to sit at the living room chair, opened the TV and did what I was doing before all the 'event' happened - watching without seeing, All the while thinking about what ifs.

What if it was my and Jared's date and that was why he walked me to the porch in front of the door? What if the moment we shared was supposed to be anticipation for our first kiss? What if Paul didn't blow his horn, would the previous what if have happened? Most hurtful or joyful, depending on the answer, was _what if he likes me now?  
_  
_I wish._

_**A/N**_

Please review if you're reading. I know i update in long periods of time but me and my editor are super busy what with her being a college girl now and me all book addict. :D Anyway, How'd you like it? I wish you all would review 'cause I write faster that way… hihi. Thanks! Oh, and did you guys see rob's movie? I want to. :D


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